Today is Friday, so this post is on interpersonal competence.
Today, I’d like to spend some time on conflict – and how to resolve it constructively. Interpersonally competent people use conflict as an opportunity to build stronger relationships and to develop creative solutions to problems and issues.
To do this, you need to treat conflict as a learning opportunity. When you come right down to it, conflict is just a difference of opinion. And differences of opinion have the opportunity to create something new and interesting – if you work at it. Take the initiative to address and resolve conflict. Don’t wait for the other person to do so.
Take a deep breath when you get into a conflict situation. Don’t blow up. Present your side of things in a measured tone of voice. Be responsible for yourself. No one can “make you angry”. No matter what they do, you can always choose to act in a civil, forthright, constructive manner. Take responsibility for your feelings when you are in a conflict situation. Don’t blame others if you are unhappy, frustrated or angry.
Realize that the other person’s point of view is as valid to him or her as yours is to you. Listen to the other person. Demonstrate your understanding of his or her points of view. Ask questions if you don’t understand, repeat your understanding to make sure you got it right.
Look for places where you agree with the other person. Highlight these points of agreement, and downplay the points where you disagree. By doing this, you’ll be starting the conflict resolution process from a better point. By focusing on the areas in which you agree, you’ll be better able to build the necessary rapport for developing a creative solution to your differences, and for strengthening your relationship with the person with whom you are in conflict.
Work hard to settle disputes and resolve differences quickly and equitably. Don’t let them drag on. Engage the other person in conversation. Focus on finding a solution that benefits both of you. Be a consensus builder. Be willing to give a little to get a little.
Conflict is never fun, but it can lead to creative solutions to problems and stronger relationships in the long run. Do what you can to become a conflict problem solver.
That’s it for today. Thanks for reading. Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com for more common sense. Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.
I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
Bud
PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open. Please go to www.FirstGiving.com.TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.
Comment Preview