Today is Tuesday, so this post is on personal impact.
Last Tuesday, I discussed a book on personal impact that I really like: The Power of Nice. Toward the end of the book, authors Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval say, “We hope we have been able to convince you that being kind and considerate is … a more effective way to get ahead; rather than being selfish and cutthroat. So given that, why not take the nice route? Not only will it take you further in your career and in your life, but you’ll feel better about yourself.”
Last Friday, the Wall Street Journal had a front page article in its Weekend Journal section that made a similar point – but in a very different way. The article, entitled The Snoop Next Door: Bad Parking, Loud Talking – No Transgression is Too Trivial to Document on Line, had some legs. I saw it on the front page of the Sunday edition of The Florida Times Union. For all I know, several newspapers around the country might have run with it also.
It began this way:
- “Last month, Eva Burgess was eating breakfast at the Rose Café in Venice, CA when she remembered she needed to make an appointment with her eye doctor. So the New York theater director got on her cell phone and booked a date. Almost immediately, she started receiving ‘weird and creepy’ calls directing her to a blog. There, under the posting, ‘Eva Burgess is Getting Glasses!’ her name cellphone number and other details mentioned in her call to the doctor’s office were posted, along with admonition ‘next time you might take your business outside.’ The offended blogger had been sitting next to Ms. Burgess.”
It appears that there are a lot of web sites and blogs devoted exposing people who are not nice for any number of reasons -- talking too loud on their cell phone, taking up two parking spaces in a crowded lot, stealing neighbor’s newspapers, failing to pick up dog leavings, leering at members of the opposite sex, littering. These sites and blogs have names like www.caughtya.org; www.litterbut.com; and www.rudepeople.com. Some of them even sell ads and subscriptions.
What does this have to do with making positive personal impact? Plenty – even if you’re not outed on a blog. You can make a positive personal impact by paying attention to the things people who write these blogs find offensive and avoiding them – or better yet doing just the opposite.
Here’s a personal example. This weekend, I made an unexpected trip to Jacksonville, FL. My mother suffered a mild heart attack on Thursday and was hospitalized. (She’s OK – went home yesterday). On my way to the hospital on Saturday, I stopped at a Subway for a sandwich. This particular Subway was in a strip mall with a fairly crowded parking lot. I circled the lot once looking for a parking space, and then saw a car leaving. As I was driving to the parking space, a pick up truck began to back out of a place between me and the one for which I was headed. I gave my horn a quick toot to let the driver know that I was behind him, drove past him and pulled into the parking space. The driver of the pick up took umbrage that I honked my horn at him. He pulled stopped near me as I was locking my car, and told me so. We had a brief, but unpleasant exchange. He went on his way, and I went on mine. No big deal, but it got me thinking.
I didn’t like how I felt after this incident. Thinking about The Power of Nice, I had to admit that I hadn’t taken the nice route. Typically, I do. Most of the time, in a similar situation, I stop and let someone pull out of a parking place, instead of making them wait for me to pass. I don’t know why I didn’t on Saturday – in a hurry to get the newly vacated place, distracted because of my mother, hungry. Who knows? Suffice it to say, I acted in a not nice manner – and I paid the consequences. At least I didn’t read about it on a blog.
The common sense point here – if you make it a habit to act nice, you will not only not show up on blogs like www.RudePeople.com, you’ll consistently make a positive personal impact with the people you meet. The important point is to get into the habit of being nice. Analyze your behavior in social situations – especially when you have an unpleasant one like the incident in the parking lot described above. Ask yourself, “was I naughty or nice?” If you were not nice, think about what you can do when a similar situation comes up again. Then, make a conscious choice to do it. Keep on doing it consciously until it becomes an unconscious habit. If you follow this advice, and become consciously nice, pretty soon you’ll find that you’ve become unconsciously nice – and someone who makes a positive personal impact.
That’s it for today. Thanks for reading. Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com for more common sense. Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.
I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
Bud
PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open. Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.
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