Today is Thursday, so this post is on communication skills.
The best communication, written or oral, is clear, concise, precise and easily understood. However, all too often business communication is anything but clear, concise and easily understood. Today, I’d like to show you how not to be a clear, concise and easily understood communicator.
Read on...
Bill Piombino, a friend of mine, sent me this Business Buzzword Generator. It’s very clever – and it points out just how much jargon has taken over business communication. I first saw this back in the 1970s. Then, it was called a “Bafflegab Thesaurus”. Whatever it’s called, I think it’s worth sharing here.
Business Buzzword Generator
When you’re stuck in your writing, use this quick guide to create phrases that will make you sound as if you know what you’re talking about – as opposed to actually knowing what you’re talking about.
Here’s how it works. Think of any three-digit number. Then, select the corresponding buzzword from each column. Number 257, for example, produces “systematized logistical projection”', a phrase that can be dropped into virtually any report with that ring of decisive knowledgeable authority. No one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about, but the important thing is that they are not about to admit it.
COLUMN 1 COLUMN 2 COLUMN 3
0 integrated 0 management 0 options
1 heuristic 1 organizational 1 flexibility
2 systematized 2 monitored 2 capability
3 parallel 3 reciprocal 3 mobility
4 functional 4 digital 4 programming
5 responsive 5 logistical 5 scenarios
6 optional 6 transitional 6 time-phase
7 synchronized 7 incremental 7 projection
8 compatible 8 third-generation 8 hardware
9 futuristic 9 policy 9 contingency
Note: I hope you find this as amusing as I did. But remember, I am presenting this as a joke. DO NOT under any circumstances use this buzzword generator to actually generate phrases that you can drop into e mails, letters or reports that you are writing -- or worse yet in conversation or presentations.
My apologies for the look of the columns, but I just couldn't get the blog software to cooperate with me to make things look neat and tidy.
That’s it for today. Thanks for reading. Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com for more common sense. Check out my other blog: www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a small business.
I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
Bud
PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open. Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.
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