Today is Friday, so this post is on interpersonal competence.
Interpersonally competent people are good at giving and receiving feedback. In this post, I’d like to review some common sense ideas for giving constructive feedback – to a colleague, friend, boss, subordinate, supplier, or anyone else with whom you interact frequently.
I’ve developed these ideas over 30 years in business. They work for me, and they’ll work for you…
Common Sense Tips for Constructive Feedback
- Protect the other person’s self esteem. Yes, feedback sometimes is negative. However, interpersonally competent people give feedback in a manner that isn’t damaging to the other person’s self esteem. Choose you words carefully. Focus on what the person can do to improve his or her performance.
- Give feedback as soon as you can. The best feedback is immediate as the events will be fresh in both of your minds.
- Be clear on what you would like the other person to do differently. Don’t just tell someone that he or she didn’t meet your expectations, repeat your expectations and tell him or her what you would like to see him or her do differently.
- Use questions to get the other person thinking. Instead of saying “that report will upset the sales people”, ask “how do you think the sales people will react to this report?” Most people are smart enough to take it from there and make the necessary changes in the report.
- Make sure the other person knows that you are sharing your opinion. It might be a well thought and reasoned opinion, but it is your opinion just the same. Don’t present your opinions as facts. Make sure the other person knows that you know your opinion is subjective, not absolute fact.
- Use empathy. Put yourself in the place of the other person. See the situation from his or her point of view. Use words that he or she will understand and relate to. Listen to yourself as you speak. Make sure you are coming across as helpful, not judgmental.
- Hold out a carrot. Explain the rewards that can accrue to the person if he or she modifies his or her behavior and makes the changes you are suggesting.
- Stay calm. It’s never a good idea to give feedback when you’re angry. When something sets you off, wait until you calm down before speaking to the other person. If you find yourself getting angry during a feedback discussion, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that over anger will only make the situation worse.
I hope you find these common sense tips on giving feedback useful. They have served me well in my career.
That’s it for today. Thanks for reading. Log on to my website www.BudBilanich.com for more common sense. Check out my other blogs: www.CareerSuperStar.com for common sense advice on becoming the life and career star you are meant to be; and www.CommonSenseDay.com to learn more about Use Your Common Sense Day -- November 4, and to read stories of common sense in action.
I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
Bud
PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand – my fundraising page is still open. Please go to www.FirstGiving.com/TheCommonSenseGuy to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.
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