Common Sense Ideas for Becoming the Career Star You Are Meant to Be

Today is Monday, so this post is about self confidence. 

Recently, I read a conversation with Ilise Benun, author of a book entitled Stop Pushing Me Around: A Workplace Guide for the Timid, Shy and Less Assertive.  I haven’t read the book, but I like what Ms. Benun had to say about self confidence.

In the interview, Ms. Benun listed four tips for building self confidence.

• Stop comparing yourself to others.
• Always take the time to prepare.
• Visualize another reality.
• Think small.

Today, I’d like to discuss her first point – stop comparing yourself to others -- in some detail.

Comparing yourself to others is not a good way to build self confidence.  Why?  Because someone is always going to be better than you, have more money than you, have greater success than you.  In fact, comparing yourself to others is a sure way to undermine your self confidence. 

Let me give you an example.  I am successful.  I have run my own business for 18 years.  I have a loving wife, a nice house and car and money in the bank.  Recently, I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about a friend of mine who orchestrated a turn around and sale of a company teetering on the edge of bankruptcy.  For his work, he received a nice little bonus -- $10 million. 

My reaction was – “good for you.  You resurrected a company.  You created shareholder value where none existed.  You did something that was nearly impossible.”

If I were to compare myself to this friend, my self confidence could take quite a hit.  I’ve been involved in some projects where I’ve made a difference, but I’ve never pulled a company out of bankruptcy.  Second, while I do OK financially, I’ve never had a single payday of $1 million, let alone $10 million.

However, I choose to not compare myself to him.  I’m not in competition with this friend or anybody else.  I’m in competition with myself.  I get up every day and try to do better than I did the day before.  When I get a new client, I use my knowledge and experience to do a better job than I did with my last client.  These are reachable goals, ones that I can control. 

You will always find others who are doing better than you.  If you spend too much time thinking about those people and comparing yourself to them, your self confidence will surely suffer, because you will come up short.

On the other hand, don’t look down on people who are not doing as well as you either.  This is a sure way to become complacent.

If you want to build and reinforce your self confidence, focus on yourself.  Focus on all of the successes you have in your life.  Find ways to build on these successes to take you to greater heights.  Use your past successes as springboards to future success.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Tomorrow, I’ll be doing a post on personal impact.  Log on to my other blog www.CommonSenseGuy.com for common sense advice on leading people and running a business, and my website www.BudBilanich.com for more common sense.

I’ll see you around the web, and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Bud